Hat Sister's Passing an end of an era

South End activist John Michael Gray, who appeared with his husband, Tim O'Connor, as the beloved Hat Sisters has died of lung cancer. He was 66.

It's impossible to describe to anyone under 40 years of age what the 1980s were like in the LGBT community. While we were ravaged by an untreatable, fatal contagious virus, our government ignored us and families and friends abandonded us.

It was not uncommon to attend the funeral services for two close friends in one month. It seemed everyone who died was under 30. Entire friend groups died. It was a bleak and dark period.

The community banded together. Organizations like Boston AIDS Action and Fenway Health were born.

And so were The Hat Sisters.

The writer at the GoFund me page (to help with medical expenses) wrote:

"In time of great social turbulence, profound illness, isolation and heartbreak in the gay community, John Michael Gray and Tim O'Connor created an extrodinary and heroic presence, by creating flamboyant works of fascinator haberdashery. The Hat Sisters joyously and generously entertained people from all walks of life with their unique and artisic fashion statement. They did not walk away from controversy. They walked towards acceptance, breaking down barriers of prejudice wherever they went. Just as they walked for us then, we will walk for them now,"

I can honestly say I do not remember an LGBT event held during the last 25 years that they didn't attend. Always with perfectly matched hats and outfits. Always generous with smiles and joy.

They always donated their hats to charity. As the decades rolled on they added all sorts of charities to their list.

The South End holiday tree lighting, or Pride Lights, or Taste of the South End was always a great spot for sightings.

The were Provincetown fixtures, inspiring comic strips and movies.

Wherever the Hat Sisters were, late Boston Mayor Tom Menino would not be far behind. Menino and the Sisters were friends. The mayor enjoyed telling the story of how he once snuck out of the meeting of national mayors in Florida to have lunch with Tim and John in Florida. "I wanted to see them. Not be stuck in a room with mayors," Menino told me.

John Michael Gray, was an art educator. He grew up New Hampshire and studied art education and administration at Cornell University, Tufts University, Stanford University and Boston University. He worked for the New Hampshire Department of Education. He then served as the director of Fine Arts for the Newton Public Schools for 22 years. In 1975 he began working for the New England Art Education Conference. He became executive director in 1980.

He and O'Connor have worked together as directors of the Boston Globe Scholastic Art and Writing Awards since 1988. They both ran the Summer Program for Academic and Creative Encounters in Newton.

O'Conner told the Cape Cod Times "It's the end of an era, which really upsets me because we just got these heels that are really great for fall," he joked.

Services for Gray in Boston and Provincetown have not been finalized. The GoFund me page is https://www.gofundme.com/2qxkuyac