Blog » News

Ask Dog Lady

Wednesday Feb 21, 2018

Advice on Pets, Life, Love

Dear Dog Lady,

I saw an article you wrote for the Boston Globe about pet grief. I was very grateful for all your information about the subject. I lost my beloved Esther two years ago. She was only five years old. I loved and adored her and still cry torrents over her. I am going to get in touch with some of the people you mention in your column. I need to be in an animal loss grief circle and have not been able to find one yet. Can you help on this?

Sheila

Dear Sheila,

In the Boston area, Rev. Eliza Blanchard of First Parish in Brookline regularly leads pet loss healing circles (info@animalcarerev.com). Dog Lady has been to one and found the spiritual service very helpful. Also, the Cummings Veterinary School supports the Tufts University Pet Loss Support Helpline (508-839-7966), staffed by veterinary students who work with the guidance of professional counselors.

Dog Lady, however, weighs in with her own hard-fought wisdom, a new piece of advice, gleaned by moving forward. Yes, losing precious terrier Shorty, was the saddest event of Dog Lady's life, sadder, if truth be told, than losing human relatives. Shorty was such a beacon of hope to Dog Lady and changed her life at a time she really needed him. Yet, the best healer after Shorty died turned out to be another dog adopted two years after the terrible loss.

Dog Lady waited awhile but she now understands why some people have to go out and get a new dog right away. These animals bring their magic. Oh, new dogs will never take away the grief completely but they sure help. Dexter is an entirely different animal from Shorty. Oh, he's the same breed but he's his own dog. And Dexter makes Dog Lady very happy to live with a creature again. She still cries for Shorty but Dexter is a reminder life goes on.


Dear Dog Lady,

I saw a man on the street who regularly left behind his dog's droppings. I would seethe about this and I probably should have called him out about it. One day, I became so enraged that I used one of my own bags to pick up his dog's dung as I furtively followed him back to his building. After he went inside, I waited an appropriate length of time and went up the stairs to his front door. I left the poop bag right outside the front door and scurried away. Since then, I haven't seen him out with his dog. Do you think I scared him away? Or sent a serious message?

Ted

Dear Ted,

Hmm, well, giving the guy a reminder and a shout out would have been kinder and more adult. You must feel some guilt about your methods or you wouldn't have confessed to a stranger. The guy didn't pick up after his dog but he didn't cause any harm to your person. He committed thoughtless acts, not heinous deeds.

However, as much as Dog Lady thinks your behavior was immaturely vindictive, she also had a wicked gleam of vicarious enjoyment. Outlaws who allow their dogs to mess other peoples' property without consequence make this world an unsafe place for dogs and everybody else.

People, please, act as if nobody's watching. Pick up after your pet.

Write askdoglady@gmail.com.