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Ask Dog Lady

Thursday Oct 5, 2017

Dear Dog Lady,

Putting my pug down to rest was very difficult. My pug Clara was put to rest over the weekend due to a fall and a fracture from which it would have been very difficult for her to recover. Clara was 10-years-old and a gift from my beloved mother ten years ago. The dog was a delightful surprise and had a wonderfully uplifting spirit that added much to my life. I now miss her dearly. We grew old together. We both had our youth when we first met but our looks turned gray and white over this past decade. She was my best friend. It's so difficult being without her but I have some wonderful memories of our time together. My dog will be forever missed.

Thank you for letting me write to you about Clara. Just expressing my feelings in this email has helped me. Do you have any suggestions on how to recover from this loss? Any information will be appreciated.

-George

Dear George,

There's no easy way to get through what you're going through. Losing a cherished pet is one of the hardest adjustments a human must endure. The wave of profound grief is also so surprising at first because you keep reminding yourself the deceased was a dog, not a human relation. Dog Lady was more bereft when her beloved dog Shorty died than when her closest relatives passed away. She didn't really want to acknowledge it but the heartache was so true and deep. She had never felt such anguish before.

People around you are sympathetic to your loss but, after a while, you can tell they are losing patience, leaving you alone with your sorrow. "Ask Dog Lady" appreciates why you have reached out to this column for solace.
The best advice is to keep on putting one foot in front of the other. Look for pugs on the street and ask their keepers if you can sneak a pet. Inevitably, through that gossamer contact, you will remember Clara with a smile instead of a stab in the gut.

For more insight and non-judgmental comfort, call the Pet Loss Support Hotline operated by students at Tufts University's veterinary school. The hotline, 508-839-7966, is open Monday to Friday from 6 to 9 p.m. but you can leave a voicemail anytime. The students are supervised by mental health professionals. Learn more at http://vet.tufts.edu/petloss/.

Also, check out http://animalcarerev.com for Unitarian minister Eliza Blanchard's counseling on pet grief and support of caregivers.


Dear Dog Lady,

As a daughter, parent, grandparent, aunt, great aunt, I want to thank you very much for reminding people in your column, twice that I know of, that dogs are pets, not babies. I have attended graduation parties, juried art shows with expensive personal displays of vendors, holiday outdoor parties and I have even rode my bike on the bike path in the unwanted company of dogs brought by clueless adults. These people with dogs intrude on countless other people. Personally I think dog parks are for dogs; people parties and events are for people.

-Diane

Dear Diane,

Much appreciation for your careful reading of the column. We dog devotees must try very hard not to be blinded by the love. A canine keeper can consider his or her dog as a person in a fur suit and extend all human niceties. But we must be always vigilant and respectful about others' boundaries. And, gulp, not everybody loves dogs. Dog Lady is here to remind pet people that four-legged friends belong to another species. They must be treated accordingly - although, gee, it is sometimes easy to forget they can't speak English.


Dear Dog Lady,

Our wheaten terrier, Maggie, has lately started to scratch the carpet as if she's digging dirt. She has never done this before and it started only last week. She's quite furious about this. What gives? Is there something in the carpet that she smells or wants? She only stops when we tell her to, but it's annoying and puzzling. Any advice?!

-Craig

Dear Craig,

Unfortunately, she can't bury her past and her powerful terrier go-to-ground genes. Dig she must. Have you given her anything precious in the last week -- a bone, a very special treat, a new toy? She could be trying to hide her stuff. Also, is it cooler under the carpet than on top? Probably. She might be trying to unearth a cool spot.

Dog Lady has watched dogs dig in their beds, the sofa cushions, the lounge pillows. Their indoor dredging can be destructive and it's also little cheerless because they work so hard for so little reward. Do you have any real dirt to offer dear Maggie? Carpet digging should cease as the air turns cooler.

Write askdoglady@gmail.com.