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Ask Dog Lady

by David Foucher
Thursday Feb 6, 2014

Advice on Pets, Life, Love

By Monica Collins

Dear Dog Lady,

Standing around at the dog park the other day, I heard someone make a dumb comment about poodles. Actually, it was a comment about poodles being dumb. I thought poodles were among the most intelligent of the breeds. This is backed up by research. Am I mistaken? I thought you have written that poodles are among the 'intelligentsia' of dogdom.

--Paula

Dear Dog Lady,

Through the years, I have owned or known dogs of different breeds and mixes. The smartest dog I ever had was a miniature poodle. Yet, someone I know recently called poodles the "dumb belles" of the dog world. Isn't the reason so many dogs are bred with poodles is to make the other breeds smarter?

--Norma

Dear Paula and Norma,

Poodles are bred with other breeds, such as golden retriever, not so much for the brains but for the hair. "Oodle" and "poo" mixes have hypoallergenic hair instead of fur. Anyway, according to petmedsonline.org, poodles are the second smartest breed; border collies are the smartest.

But wouldn't you agree each dog keeper wants to believe his or her own dog is the brightest bulb? And each dog shines with its own high IQ and CQ (cuddle quotient). For example, Dog Lady's dog understands a few words of English. He knows "sit" when I dangle a dried liver chunk over his head. If I don't display the treat, he forgets the word. He grasps "stay" -- the most important word for any dog to comprehend -- when I hold up my hand and say the word at the same time. He responds to "come" and "walk." He clicks into "squirrel" with such instant recognition that Dog Lady must spell out the name of the rodent when speaking in front of him or he starts whimpering and making a scene. He may even win the national s-q-u-i-r-r-e-l spelling bee.

Is Dog Lady's darling Shorty smarter than a poodle? He's probably intellectually superior to his poodle pal Webster who chases snowballs and then looks perplexed when the balls vanish into thin air. But Shorty is definitely not as smart as the wily cat at a dinner party recently. That cat messed with the canine mind all night.


Dear Dog Lady,

In another month, spring will spring and I'm feeling my sap beginning to run. I've been divorced now for five years and I want to be in love again. But how to meet someone? I've tried nearly everything from asking friends to introduce me to attending "First Fridays" at the Museum of Fine Arts. So far, no luck.

I've decided to go the next step and post a personal ad on the Internet. Should use a picture with my dog Mac? I want any potential suitor to know I'm part of a package deal, as in "love me, love my dog."

--Clare

Dear Clare:

Your photographic presentation in the Internet ad is important. You don't want Mac to distract anyone from noticing you, which could happen if there's a dog in your face. Men could wonder if there's room for them. This might not be true for you but since perception is reality, it becomes a stranger's first impression.

Only after you meet a man should you talk about the dog in your life. However, be flirty about the whole thing. Be happy and surprised if he too is a dog keeper but don't be disappointed if he isn't. At this very early stage, you're still testing the dating waters. You should be open and responsive. For a first impression, Dog Lady doesn't recommend taking any demanding stance such as "love me, love my dog." Your ad photo should be a head shot of a smiling woman sending forth subliminal messages of approachability, flexibility and fun.


Dear Dog Lady,

Can dogs smile? Whenever I come home from school, my dog Holly (a Pomeranian mix) always has her tongue out of her mouth and wags her tail a lot. She's a very social dog. Can dogs really smile or do they just pant to maintain homeostasis?

--Kimberly

Dear Kimberly,

You get an "A" for spelling "homeostasis" correctly and for using it in a sentence. Now, let's try to get another high mark in understanding Holly's smile.

When you come home from school, Holly is happy. She wags, which is a dog's best way to express joy. When Holly pants and her tongue hangs out of her mouth, she appears to have a smile on her face-as do all dogs. Technically, she is experiencing a bodily adjustment -homeostasis-and not an emotional response. Dogs pant when they are hot, thirsty, anxious, sick, or out of breath from exercise or excitement.

There's no harm in your imagining that Holly smiles. Your dog is over-the-moon to welcome you. Because she's small, there's only so much room in that body to contain her exuberance. She breathes hard to let out all that steam.

Please go to lexmedia.org/ondemand to see all episodes of "Ask Dog Lady" the TV show; send questions to askdoglady@gmail.com.

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